I still only upkeep a few sites at a time, one less so now that MySpace seems to be fizzling out next to the bright and polished facebook. Still don't expect too many pics of me. I have a very nice smile in my opinion, but I can't pose for it. It either occurs naturally or not at all--school pictures growing up were pale imitations. Will still check it occassionally for contact information and upkeep.
DeviantArt has quite a few online acquaintances and page-following buddies of mine, but I can finish or publish any form of an artistic piece so rarely that I'm VERY behind with them.
I black, delete, or report spam almost any other social networking site other than facebook and myspace. We've not been out of school long enough nor far enough away from town to join class reunion sites. Still only a sporadic lurker in the rare-enough forum scroll.
My work schedule keeps tabs or claws on me for the most part of any weekday. Otherwise I try to balance my weekends between family, friends, and self-isolation.
My social life has somewhat death-rattled in that I am now going out and meeting new people (single and otherwise) on the occassion I'm invited to them.
Still not satisfied with my life for the most part--at least in some aspects. Thought I would be so much further ahead than I am now its sad and it's making me want to move forward. Fear and comfort and aparthy and weighing my down. Drastic personal-life actions may need to take place. :P
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
To [Blogg]er Is Human...
I have a few sites I keep updated on. I'm not a camwhore who posts hundreds or thousands of photos on the internet. In fact until recently I had in the neighborhood of 20 tagged images from 3 whole years of college facebooking to my name.
I get easily frustrated with the ads, spam, and load times some people program in to their myspace pages so I keep it around for little more than an additional way to contact me (for some people, its the only).
DeviantArt has quite a few online acquaintances and page-following buddies of mine, but I can finish or publish any form of an artistic piece so rarely that I'm VERY behind with them.
Too many so-called friends are joining social networking or class reunion sites that I've just stopped deleting them and am actively blocking them from my regular email account(s).
I am not a forum troll, though I lurk occasionally in one or two as interests momentarily spike for whatever reason.
I keep no consistent schedule of social activities except for a weekly game with a few friends on Sunday afternoon.
My work schedule keeps tabs or claws on me for the most part of any weekday.
My social life, not that is was ever thriving, is shrivelled to the point of pruning.
Is this what life is as you grow up? It seems the more I try to hang on to any one thing the more others suffer. The variety of things that I attempt overrides and nullifies many well-meant intentions. If so I'm not entirely sure I want to go through with it. I must find some semblance of balance, some...middle ground if I want to get out of this phase with any sanity or innocence left.
I get easily frustrated with the ads, spam, and load times some people program in to their myspace pages so I keep it around for little more than an additional way to contact me (for some people, its the only).
DeviantArt has quite a few online acquaintances and page-following buddies of mine, but I can finish or publish any form of an artistic piece so rarely that I'm VERY behind with them.
Too many so-called friends are joining social networking or class reunion sites that I've just stopped deleting them and am actively blocking them from my regular email account(s).
I am not a forum troll, though I lurk occasionally in one or two as interests momentarily spike for whatever reason.
I keep no consistent schedule of social activities except for a weekly game with a few friends on Sunday afternoon.
My work schedule keeps tabs or claws on me for the most part of any weekday.
My social life, not that is was ever thriving, is shrivelled to the point of pruning.
Is this what life is as you grow up? It seems the more I try to hang on to any one thing the more others suffer. The variety of things that I attempt overrides and nullifies many well-meant intentions. If so I'm not entirely sure I want to go through with it. I must find some semblance of balance, some...middle ground if I want to get out of this phase with any sanity or innocence left.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Stumbling Further Down A Nerdy Rabbit Hole
So its no surprise to me or anyone else I know, but I'm a nerd, geek, a semi-tech savvy delver into all things cast off from the rigorous judge-me-nows of society. As further evidence of this I submit one of my more recent excursions in to that-which-spawns-conventions, Dungeons & Dragons.
[Ok, no more hyphenated descriptions, lol]
I've always known about it. Whether the normees out there want to admit it or know, they have too. It's typically seen as people playing it in their basement or backyards in full fantasy-spoof regalia and keeping a strict sense of pseudo-parliamentarian procedures to simply tell a story. Said situation is more closely tied to LARPers (Live Action Role Playing).
I'm taking about the improvisational (only one person the DungeonMaster aka author truly knows what's going to happen) experience of getting together with friends periodically and just experience a different, animated twist on a story whether you prefer reading, movies, video games, etc. Artists of whatever discipline bring their own unique experiences and descriptors to a story. If you remember the "Choose your own adventure" storybooks, its similar to those except you get input from multiple people and absolutely anything can and will happen in these games. You could take just the exact same 3 people, present them with 3 successive, recurring fights (3 fights, same situation every time) and they can very easily come out completely different.
DnD (D&D, AD&D, or ADnD) utilizes a d20 (20-sided dice or a icosahedron) system that adds the random effect or 'life-element' to the game since nothing is ideal or perfect in life. But more than that is an outlet for creative juices to flow. I, myself, am very dedicated to the creation and speculation part of an idea, but I typically lack follow-through to complete one. This gives me an arena where not only myself, but others have/had similar problems and can offer constructive criticism when needed or merely a wall to bounce around ideas. And yes, some of my friends who play are taking/encouraging me to attend a convention in the future to see what they're like.
I won't even try though would wish luck to anyone trying to find all the DnD references throughout pop culture. Any fantasy game (video or otherwise) is loosely based on it, Futurama dedicated an entire movie to it (Bender's Game). And many Hollywood celebrities admit to having/still playing the game. Most shocking of them is Vin Diesel (see YouTube for many different interviews about this).
I am currently on my first character and look forward to developing him as he levels up through the campaign my friends and I are done. No details as I'm still hammering our names, background, etc for a sketch, but I will tell you he is currently a lvl 2 Dwarven Bard.
[Ok, no more hyphenated descriptions, lol]
I've always known about it. Whether the normees out there want to admit it or know, they have too. It's typically seen as people playing it in their basement or backyards in full fantasy-spoof regalia and keeping a strict sense of pseudo-parliamentarian procedures to simply tell a story. Said situation is more closely tied to LARPers (Live Action Role Playing).
I'm taking about the improvisational (only one person the DungeonMaster aka author truly knows what's going to happen) experience of getting together with friends periodically and just experience a different, animated twist on a story whether you prefer reading, movies, video games, etc. Artists of whatever discipline bring their own unique experiences and descriptors to a story. If you remember the "Choose your own adventure" storybooks, its similar to those except you get input from multiple people and absolutely anything can and will happen in these games. You could take just the exact same 3 people, present them with 3 successive, recurring fights (3 fights, same situation every time) and they can very easily come out completely different.
DnD (D&D, AD&D, or ADnD) utilizes a d20 (20-sided dice or a icosahedron) system that adds the random effect or 'life-element' to the game since nothing is ideal or perfect in life. But more than that is an outlet for creative juices to flow. I, myself, am very dedicated to the creation and speculation part of an idea, but I typically lack follow-through to complete one. This gives me an arena where not only myself, but others have/had similar problems and can offer constructive criticism when needed or merely a wall to bounce around ideas. And yes, some of my friends who play are taking/encouraging me to attend a convention in the future to see what they're like.
I won't even try though would wish luck to anyone trying to find all the DnD references throughout pop culture. Any fantasy game (video or otherwise) is loosely based on it, Futurama dedicated an entire movie to it (Bender's Game). And many Hollywood celebrities admit to having/still playing the game. Most shocking of them is Vin Diesel (see YouTube for many different interviews about this).
I am currently on my first character and look forward to developing him as he levels up through the campaign my friends and I are done. No details as I'm still hammering our names, background, etc for a sketch, but I will tell you he is currently a lvl 2 Dwarven Bard.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Frustrational Inspiration
Warning: Vent
Well I'm sure most of you are more in to this cyber-lifestyle that has taken the country by storm more so than I. Yes, I'm of the current generation and yes, I partake in it to my own satisfaction, but I'm not an over obcessive addict (I hope.) Anyway on jumping accounts and just getting updates, checking emails, and general fuck-it activities this late night/early morning I see quite a few of my old friends (male and female) updating with weddings, births, and all the general "how my life is going" mumblings that make people like me, still woking on our life, pissed off and upset. I'm not frustrated enough [yet] to research, document, bookmark, dog-ear, or publish a manifesto, but I'm damn near close. I'm completely aware that most of it is my fault, I'm a self-proclaimed late bloomer. I had my whole identify crisis and pseudo-rebellion phase in college and maybe bleeding over a little into now, rather than most of my friends who had it in middle or high school. I already have a semi-permanent job and apartment, etc but things WILL and MUST change this year if I want to make any more variations later on.
1) Health/Physique
I WILL exercise more. I will document and keep a journal going of exactly what I do and my alledged progress (Dr's office for scale at start?) including various body measurements
2) Occupational
I hate my current job. I WILL strive to find a new, less stressful way to do it or I WILL look for another one at my earliest inkling of a forthcoming break.
3) Relational/Experience
I WILL swallow my fear/pride/ineptness and ask more girls out. I am willing to go back to a church for the off-chance to meet a single girl, but more likely I will look for them more at the eventuality of taking masters level courses. I also want to experience more in life so I will try to go out with my friends and their spouses in another effort to meet people.
4) Educational
I WILL look out for myself and try to differentiate what Masters program(s) I would like to go into and isolate what, is any other, minors I should finish up accordingly.
***This is a very rough draft, if I get infuriated from life or something specific I will copy-paste this and expand it to a full blown manifesto and cite my progress.
Well I'm sure most of you are more in to this cyber-lifestyle that has taken the country by storm more so than I. Yes, I'm of the current generation and yes, I partake in it to my own satisfaction, but I'm not an over obcessive addict (I hope.) Anyway on jumping accounts and just getting updates, checking emails, and general fuck-it activities this late night/early morning I see quite a few of my old friends (male and female) updating with weddings, births, and all the general "how my life is going" mumblings that make people like me, still woking on our life, pissed off and upset. I'm not frustrated enough [yet] to research, document, bookmark, dog-ear, or publish a manifesto, but I'm damn near close. I'm completely aware that most of it is my fault, I'm a self-proclaimed late bloomer. I had my whole identify crisis and pseudo-rebellion phase in college and maybe bleeding over a little into now, rather than most of my friends who had it in middle or high school. I already have a semi-permanent job and apartment, etc but things WILL and MUST change this year if I want to make any more variations later on.
1) Health/Physique
I WILL exercise more. I will document and keep a journal going of exactly what I do and my alledged progress (Dr's office for scale at start?) including various body measurements
2) Occupational
I hate my current job. I WILL strive to find a new, less stressful way to do it or I WILL look for another one at my earliest inkling of a forthcoming break.
3) Relational/Experience
I WILL swallow my fear/pride/ineptness and ask more girls out. I am willing to go back to a church for the off-chance to meet a single girl, but more likely I will look for them more at the eventuality of taking masters level courses. I also want to experience more in life so I will try to go out with my friends and their spouses in another effort to meet people.
4) Educational
I WILL look out for myself and try to differentiate what Masters program(s) I would like to go into and isolate what, is any other, minors I should finish up accordingly.
***This is a very rough draft, if I get infuriated from life or something specific I will copy-paste this and expand it to a full blown manifesto and cite my progress.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Time Travel Destination
First random idea or question of my blog! Came up in a conversation with a few buddies of mine:
If you had to choose, would you go forwards or backwards in time and why? (for the record a random one-shot trip)
I'd have to say forwards. I am a fan of history and enjoy studying and speculating as to what happened, why and all that; but I am just as interested in the possibilities of the future. I'm intriqued by the assumtion of aliens, space travel, etc. In my own humble opinion the human race has become stagnant for the most part in the 21st century. In the 20th we invented, evolved, and damn-near perfected flight, automotive, computers, etc. Now that we've gotten those you see how little has changed in say...the last 25 years.
Ok I need to work on length and depth of articles but its a WIP.
If you had to choose, would you go forwards or backwards in time and why? (for the record a random one-shot trip)
I'd have to say forwards. I am a fan of history and enjoy studying and speculating as to what happened, why and all that; but I am just as interested in the possibilities of the future. I'm intriqued by the assumtion of aliens, space travel, etc. In my own humble opinion the human race has become stagnant for the most part in the 21st century. In the 20th we invented, evolved, and damn-near perfected flight, automotive, computers, etc. Now that we've gotten those you see how little has changed in say...the last 25 years.
Ok I need to work on length and depth of articles but its a WIP.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Beer Before Wicker...
Alright, been slacking off, but apparently that's true to form for any of you that know me. This is one of those lovely nights of communal drinking that are so few and far between now-a-days that something memorable always happens. This one was the christening of my old buddy's first house. A bachelor pad to say the least, but it is a 2 story, 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2 car garage, with a den, livingroom, media room, and more hole-in-the-wall closets than I have ever seen. Unlike many of our get togethers this one was just a 'come and drink' sort of shindig and we were well afforded the courtesy of our own 2 hour drive to get there. I'm still unable to tolerate beer unless forced to, but I am becoming partical to the Rum and Coke or similar variant. And two of my buddies know exactly how much to mix them well.
Anyway, we got there about 4pm and were already well into the reserves by 7 and it was obvious we were going to run dry shortly unless we paced ourself or got more. Well a *new* friend of mine was knocking them back a bit more than I and suggested we "just head on over to the Wicker Store and get some more."
"What, and pick up some chairs and a cabinet while were there?" lol.
Also had my first made-from-scratch mojito. I liked it and wish Seth many good things as he goes to get a TABC liscense later this year to bartend.
Anyway, we got there about 4pm and were already well into the reserves by 7 and it was obvious we were going to run dry shortly unless we paced ourself or got more. Well a *new* friend of mine was knocking them back a bit more than I and suggested we "just head on over to the Wicker Store and get some more."
"What, and pick up some chairs and a cabinet while were there?" lol.
Also had my first made-from-scratch mojito. I liked it and wish Seth many good things as he goes to get a TABC liscense later this year to bartend.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Dick-Rolled
***Please be warned that this article involves sexual content of a devious and fairly graphic nature and that you read further at your own discretion. I don't want to limit my own commentary on something I'm writing mainly for me to begin with, so don't make a fuss if you don't like this--I WARNED YOU. Besides, unless something major happens this is probably the worst thing that will ever be on here.***
What better way than to start my summer writing program with a blog that REQUIRES a disclaimer, lol. I wanted to start out with something that would define the mood I'm trying to set with this piece--mainly that would translate to some random phrase or topic that I'd develop into...I dunno, something. So imagine my own surprise when I mentally make the decision to write this. I should be ashamed :).
I'm not exactly sure why its funny, why we react the way we do, or why girls don't; but most* guys don't like looking at another guy's "equipment." Call it a sick and twisted sense of penis-envy or a don't-ask-don't-tell situation, we just don't care for it unless it's necessary. I know of some girl friends that don't have a problem with looking at another female's--keep reading and you'll find out just how this came up in an everyday conversation. But they critique each other's parts! If a female does perchance read this--please email me and let me know why.
Anyway, my own persona experience in this was limited until college for obvious and personal gender-specific reasons. I had a roommate who liked to streak around our shy upstairs neighbor (photo major who was too shy to take or be in the same room for a nude photo session--one of her test grades--so I guess he was trying to help. And then him again when he and her roommates were able to get her to take some. She handed us her portfolio before turning it in and she really does have a great eye for scenery and texture in photographs, especially in grey scale. So we were perusing her sleeved photos when we get to one of a dilapidated barn and the shadows are striking it magnificently and then...guy standing in front of it with his cock 'splayed. *groans and moans* abound, mostly for her benefit and an over-the-top Shatner-esque overreaction on all of our parts one after the other. They do somehow manage to let us all (5) see it without any foreshadowing or spoilers from the other roommates/friends. We had been dick-rolled.
Fast forward to this past week. Porn for some friends is a basic topic--style, makeup of couple/group, animated vs real, etc. I don't understand the passionate side of this discussion and maybe its the way I was raised, but I can't comfortably talk in length about it. But amongst my friends that can, they swap discs with each other and offer commentated notes on each others'. Well one of them I've known a long time decides to pass me one this week, says I'll "enjoy the thought, given my back ground." My mind goes to the same shady places it normally goes, but I don't think much of it. I decide to watch it and lo and behold a gorgeous girl is there giving a modified strip tease to her partner in a skimpy girl scout outfit. And there she dances for a good 5-6 minutes and just manages to become topless. At this point the film turns ugly as she spins around--drops her skirt--and you come face to face with her monstrous, erect penis.
There are some things that cannot be unseen and getting caught by a hermaphroditic porn in lieu of whatever you were/were not expecting just plain sucks. And lots of things ran through my main as I recall these are some of the same people who introduced me to 4chan and continue to troll it on occasion. If nothing else I pray that at the very least it is a hermaphrodite and not a tranny.
I returned the disc to a slew of grins (I was not, apparently the first victim of this calibur). I have no ideas how I can get him back other than a beating so if you have some ideas let me know, this is one twisted s.o.b. Regardless, I've sworn off anything he gives me until hell freezes over and considering going cold turkey for a while.
What better way than to start my summer writing program with a blog that REQUIRES a disclaimer, lol. I wanted to start out with something that would define the mood I'm trying to set with this piece--mainly that would translate to some random phrase or topic that I'd develop into...I dunno, something. So imagine my own surprise when I mentally make the decision to write this. I should be ashamed :).
I'm not exactly sure why its funny, why we react the way we do, or why girls don't; but most* guys don't like looking at another guy's "equipment." Call it a sick and twisted sense of penis-envy or a don't-ask-don't-tell situation, we just don't care for it unless it's necessary. I know of some girl friends that don't have a problem with looking at another female's--keep reading and you'll find out just how this came up in an everyday conversation. But they critique each other's parts! If a female does perchance read this--please email me and let me know why.
Anyway, my own persona experience in this was limited until college for obvious and personal gender-specific reasons. I had a roommate who liked to streak around our shy upstairs neighbor (photo major who was too shy to take or be in the same room for a nude photo session--one of her test grades--so I guess he was trying to help. And then him again when he and her roommates were able to get her to take some. She handed us her portfolio before turning it in and she really does have a great eye for scenery and texture in photographs, especially in grey scale. So we were perusing her sleeved photos when we get to one of a dilapidated barn and the shadows are striking it magnificently and then...guy standing in front of it with his cock 'splayed. *groans and moans* abound, mostly for her benefit and an over-the-top Shatner-esque overreaction on all of our parts one after the other. They do somehow manage to let us all (5) see it without any foreshadowing or spoilers from the other roommates/friends. We had been dick-rolled.
Fast forward to this past week. Porn for some friends is a basic topic--style, makeup of couple/group, animated vs real, etc. I don't understand the passionate side of this discussion and maybe its the way I was raised, but I can't comfortably talk in length about it. But amongst my friends that can, they swap discs with each other and offer commentated notes on each others'. Well one of them I've known a long time decides to pass me one this week, says I'll "enjoy the thought, given my back ground." My mind goes to the same shady places it normally goes, but I don't think much of it. I decide to watch it and lo and behold a gorgeous girl is there giving a modified strip tease to her partner in a skimpy girl scout outfit. And there she dances for a good 5-6 minutes and just manages to become topless. At this point the film turns ugly as she spins around--drops her skirt--and you come face to face with her monstrous, erect penis.
There are some things that cannot be unseen and getting caught by a hermaphroditic porn in lieu of whatever you were/were not expecting just plain sucks. And lots of things ran through my main as I recall these are some of the same people who introduced me to 4chan and continue to troll it on occasion. If nothing else I pray that at the very least it is a hermaphrodite and not a tranny.
I returned the disc to a slew of grins (I was not, apparently the first victim of this calibur). I have no ideas how I can get him back other than a beating so if you have some ideas let me know, this is one twisted s.o.b. Regardless, I've sworn off anything he gives me until hell freezes over and considering going cold turkey for a while.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Viva la Revolution!
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! Summer is upon us and with that comes vacation from a deplorable occupation that siphons all my energies away to leave a rotting, fluffy husk for the majority of the year.
However, I should have lots to do, I get 2.5 months off with little to do besides clean and DO STUFF (among hanging with friends, travelling and the other traditional summer fun). Ideally working out and creating something will be part of it. I have some friends teaching me new games and I am actually going to try abridged RPG/fanfic stories. Plus lots of movies, music, anime, book ideas as well!
Aside from that I am doing a complete overhaul of my paper stashes (ideas, doodles, sketches, lists, whatnot) and I'm doing what I really should do with them: 1) use them, 2) sort/file them for later, or 3) trash them.
I'm hoping I get at least one finished drawing a week on deviantart, and I'm planning on doing a lot of creative writing (to stave off writer's block and get back in the habit of refining my writing).
However, I should have lots to do, I get 2.5 months off with little to do besides clean and DO STUFF (among hanging with friends, travelling and the other traditional summer fun). Ideally working out and creating something will be part of it. I have some friends teaching me new games and I am actually going to try abridged RPG/fanfic stories. Plus lots of movies, music, anime, book ideas as well!
Aside from that I am doing a complete overhaul of my paper stashes (ideas, doodles, sketches, lists, whatnot) and I'm doing what I really should do with them: 1) use them, 2) sort/file them for later, or 3) trash them.
I'm hoping I get at least one finished drawing a week on deviantart, and I'm planning on doing a lot of creative writing (to stave off writer's block and get back in the habit of refining my writing).
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